A terrible, horrible, sucky day

Today sucked. My mother hates that expression, but it really works for a day like today. It's like the universe decided I needed a month's worth of stress rolled into one single day. Ugh. And here's the worst part, I discovered that even after dropping 40 pounds in the past two months, I am still turning to food in times of stress. That is the most stressful part of all! I just want to run out on my front deck and scream to the world, "Why, why, WHY?????" I have to learn some better coping skills here. I thought I had a handle on this whole food addiction of mine, but today showed me how old habits die hard. It's so bizarre when it's happening, too. The stress comes and then suddenly, I'm blindly, eating in a semi-conscious state. I just want to soothe my rattle nerves and make all the icky feelings go away and ahhhh, food seems to make it all better.

I hate that it does.

But, then I realize it is so temporary, so fleeting and then I'm left with the thing I hate even more: the guilt. I'm tired of the game and I really don't want to play anymore. Yes, I had a bad day, we all do. Did I go completely off plan? Yes and no. I didn't eat any foods not allowed on my plan, but I didn't track calories or weigh or measure and I know I ate over my allowed 1500 calories for the day. But, it is just one day. If I have learned anything from reading all the many wonderful, honest, helpful and inspiring weight loss blogs out there, I have learned that one day is just one day. It does not have to totally derail me. I won't let it.

Tomorrow is a new day. I can get back on plan. I will get back on plan.

The old me (before I DECIDED), would've just said screw it and inhaled every sugary, chocolate, calorie laden junk food I could find and never look back. But, I didn't do that. Yes, I still turned to food. Yes, I ate more calories than I should have, but I didn't go completely nuts.

That's progress. I'll take it.

Despite a bad day, I'll never be this weight again.