Tonight is my weigh-in to mark the end of my second six week phase on Prism. I've been a little more lax during this 6 weeks than I was the first six weeks, meaning I've gone over my 1500 daily calorie limit a couple of times. But, I have stayed on plan as far as the type of food I'm consuming, so I feel really good about that.
Truth be told, I'm scared. I'm scared that the scale isn't going to show a big number like last time (I lost 30 pounds in the first 6 weeks). I guess I'm not really afraid of the number on the scale, but my reaction to the number and the mind-blowing head game that I fear will ensue. The old me would get frustrated and give up. The old me would say "screw it", all this discipline isn't worth that puny number on the scale! The old me would say "You're a failure... again." But, that is just Fear talking. I recognize that voice. It's the same voice that told me to eat whatever I wanted and deal with the consequences later. It's the same voice that told me to stuff my feelings by stuffing my face and all would be better and I wouldn't have to feel my feelings. It's the same damn voice that told me for the last 15 years and 100 pounds of extra weight that I wasn't worth it.
But what that voice doesn't realize is that I'm not listening to it anymore.
What that voice doesn't realize is that this time I have DECIDED.
What that voice doesn't realize is that no matter what number I see on the scale tonight, I'm not giving up. I'm not going back.
So, listen up Fear, I'm not listening to you anymore! You do not rule me!
I will never be this weight again!
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