Day #14 - Victories and Serenity

I had a moment of victory. Actually, I've had several moments of victory in the past few days. In an effort to celebrate EVERY victory, no matter how big or small, I'm going to share my latest victories with you.

First, I dropped a whole pant size. Yes, you heard me, a whole pant size in the first two weeks! Oh thank you Baby Jesus! My daughter and I were deciding (panicking) on what we were going to wear to the Kenny Chesney concert which was last Saturday ( it was an amazing concert and Kenny Chesney is a total hottie) and (I digress, sorry) during this whole thing, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could try on a pair of black pants my wonderful mother-in law bought for me, that I have been too fat to wear. So, I tried them on and THEY FIT!!! I was thrilled, ecstatic and so happy I almost cried. Now I realize it's only pants, not world peace or anything and I know it's only one size, and I know I have like a zillion more sizes to go to get to my goal weight and size, but I AM REVERSING THE TREND!!! Instead of going up, up, up I'm finally, finally going DOWN. I cannot begin to tell you how relieved and happy that makes me! It's a little victory, but a victory none the less.

Secondly, I am no longer dying of out of control cravings, hunger pangs and nonstop thoughts about inhaling any and all junk food. Suddenly my body seems to understand that we are DOING THIS. PERIOD. Finally, I feel like I can do this and function in my regular life. I have turned some sort of metabolic corner and the severe tantrums and rebellion my body was inflicting upon itself seems to be over and I feel amazingly under control. It's another victory and I'll take it.

Lastly, I have had a paradigm shift. This is not a diet. This is my life. I'm no longer looking to just lose the weight and then get "off" the diet. I'm changing my relationship with food and know that for the rest of my life, I will be a food addict and will have to watch my food intake carefully. But, I can handle that. I really can. Accepting the reality of my situation is a beautiful thing. It reminds me of the Serenity Prayer and the truth it holds:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I will never be this weight again! Amen.